Success in life is not measured by what a person gets, but by what they continue to do with what they have. The concept of success is very personal -- it means completely different things to different people. Therefore, happiness and fulfillment are actually generated through the richness of the experience on the journey to success and not in the fleeting moment when someone feels they have arrived. In the final analysis, success is not a destination at all -- it’s a way to travel.

Success must be built from the inside out if it is to be sustained over an extended period. It has nothing to do with comparisons to other people, and everything to do with the exhilaration that comes with doing something that is extraordinary, excellent and heart warming. Being the best means doing your best, giving your best and achieving your best in everything you do day by day.
 

1. EXPOSING THE SUCCESS MYTHS

Success is not something to be possessed; it is unrelated to what you own, purchase or produce. Success has nothing to do with how you compare with anyone else, and as such, is completely outside the currently accepted success myths which center on self-gratification. Instead, success has everything to do with the process of becoming all you can be and should be.

Many people labor under the mistaken belief there are only two levels in life: the best or inferior. In reality, however, all that belief leads to is constant frustration, as people try to claw their way to the top only to find there’s nothing magical up there. The modern success myths have moved completely away from stressing character traits such as truth, morality and integrity, and instead focus on a value system anchored solely in self-gratification. They need to be replaced with truths. Here are some examples.
 

2. HOW TO LIVE FROM THE INSIDE OUT

We must learn to appreciate and believe in every individual’s freedom and limitless inner human worth. As a general rule, people with low self-esteem are ego-driven and live in a universe with themselves at the center. By contrast, people with high self esteem are modest, feel good about themselves and spend most of their time listening to others rather than talking.

Success is fleeting and fickle. The trick is to avoid being lulled into a sense of permanence -- to think that success today will guarantee success tomorrow. To counter that, you need to view success as something that should be sparred with rather than embraced. You need to remind yourself that you don’t need gimmicks, and that the central challenge is to live up to the added value that is already present and built in at the beginning of life.  

Here are some practical ways to build self-esteem.
 

3. CHARACTER CAN’T BE COUNTERFEITED

Integrity doesn’t mean one thing in one situation and another thing in another -- it is not situational at all. Integrity - the foundation of developing character - is an absolute standard for those who really understand what being the best means. Integrity can be defined as a standard of personal moral behavior and ethics that is not based on the expediency of the moment and which does not change from situation to situation. Integrity is the foundation of an inner value system, and the bedrock upon which character is developed.

People with integrity are unconcerned about fame, about outward appearances or other society imposed standards. They realize that pandering to the external guarantees only that a person will live a shallow life, and has nothing to do with the idea of being the best. In every arena of any consequence, the real bottom line isn’t money, it’s integrity. Expediency can only lead to fleeting stardom but long-term defeat. Only integrity can deliver long-term, sustained success.
 

4. LIVING WITHOUT LIMITATIONS

One success myth states that only the talented or the lucky can ever succeed. Another states that you have to work within your limitations. In reality, everyone on the planet has vast, untapped potential to achieve anything they want. The real truth is that success can be achieved by those who work smarter or harder - and usually both - at whatever they really enjoy doing and are good at.

The world is full of so-called common people who are very uncommon in their pursuit of being the best in whatever field they have chosen. That’s not really newsworthy though, so they don’t receive much in the way of media attention. Instead, the media tries to present stereotypes - buy this product or that if you want to succeed.

Many people throughout history have graphically demonstrated it’s possible to rise above what other people call limitations. The trick lies in differentiating between limits and limitations.

5. WILL THE REAL ‘‘YOU’’ PLEASE STAND UP?

To become the best that you can be, discover what your natural gifts are. Everyone has them, but not everyone takes the time and effort to find out what they are. Then develop those natural gifts. They’re your key to fulfilling your personal potential for success. Studies have shown that most people have between three and five natural aptitudes, and that the combination of those aptitudes identifies specific career areas they will be naturally strong in. Very often, it’s somewhere within one of those areas that natural gifts will come to the fore.

Those same studies have also shown there is a direct correlation between vocabulary and career success. People need the ability to communicate well, using an extensive vocabulary of words suited to their profession, if they are to excel. Most highly successful people have excellent vocabularies. Therefore, part of being the best and exploiting your own natural abilities to the fullest will be to develop your vocabulary and communication skills.

To identify your natural aptitudes, work your way through this list.

The greatest chance of success and excellence comes when a person finds a career in an area in which they have the suitable natural gifts and talents. However, these natural aptitudes just suggest the place to start from, or the road to take. It’s still up to each person to make the most of those skills and talents they naturally possess.
 

6. THE ROAD BEST TRAVELED

Most people spend their entire lives doing what they think others want them to do instead of following their dreams. Yet the road to real success - the road less traveled - is to follow your natural gifts and have the courage to let whatever you love take you where you’d really like to go. Are you the type of person who spends more time planning an upcoming vacation than you ever do planning your career or your life? Or are you the type of person who feels somewhere there’s an undiscovered treasure, and that ‘‘Someday you’ll.....’’.Do you look forward to the weekends so you can forget about doing whatever to earn a living and instead spend some time doing what you really enjoy?  

A ‘‘Yes’’ answer to any of these questions is a warning signal that you haven’t found a career that takes advantage of your natural gifts and talents. If that is the case, just getting through the work day will be the goal, instead of trying to achieve as much as possible. That’s an excellent way to become unhappy and unsuccessful, because being the best will be an undiscovered treasure that lies somewhere else. If you spend more time thinking about what you’re going to do at your lunch break than on your career and your life, take action immediately. Find something you can be passionate about that you can do to earn your living.
 

7. THE RATCHET EFFECT: TWO CLICKS FORWARD, ONE BACK

The secret to living a happy, rewarding and productive life is to have clearly defined goals. Write them down and focus on them several times each day, using words, pictures and especially emotions. Think about them vividly, as if they’ve already been achieved.

Most people think of health, wealth and success as being goals. In reality, however, they’re not goals - they’re the by-products of having a specific purpose in life and achieving that purpose. Without a specific goal, all a person is engaging in is wishful thinking. Specific goals should be personalized - they should reflect precisely what you want and not what others expect of you. Follow this process to set your goals.
 

8. IF IT’S TO BE, IT’S UP TO ME!

A good personal motto is: ‘‘Stop stewing and start doing’’. It’s impossible to be depressed and active at the same time. Therefore, change the concept of motivation into motive-action -- take charge of today and make today the best you possibly can. There are three personality types amongst non-achievers.

1. Victims - who are preoccupied with the past as well as with things that cannot be controlled. They don’t act because ‘‘events beyond their control’’ make it impossible to achieve their goals.

2. Sustainers -- who are too worried about the present to even think about the future. They’re afraid to take new risks because they don’t want to upset the status quo.
3. Dreamers -- who talk well but just somehow never seem to really get into action. They have permanent potential but never seem to get it all together.

Achievers, by contrast, live by the creed: If it is to be, it’s up to me! They write their own scripts, and act proactively with passion and enthusiasm. They want to take risks, because they realize the path to achievement runs right through that door, and that the real risk in life lies in doing nothing and not in attempting something that fails temporarily.

Sometimes, people procrastinate because they’re afraid of:

§         The unknown.

§         Seeming inferior to other people, and looking foolish.

§         The consequences of succeeding.  

To overcome procrastination, try these tips and tricks.
 

9. PASSION, PRACTICE AND PERSEVERANCE

Never leave your future to chance, peer pressure or media hype. Instead, take charge and direct your future by choice. Develop the self-discipline required to become the very best you can be. The human brain has an in-built filtering mechanism called the reticular activating system (RAS). It determines what information is important, and what information can safely be ignored. It can either be programmed to absorb positive information or it will dwell on negative information. 

Because the RAS is always active, it enables a person to break their old habits - and the only way that can be done in reality is by programming the RAS to replace the information it previously admitted which reinforced the old habit with a different set of information that will reinforce the new habit.

Tips for forming new habits.
 

10. TURNING FAILURE INTO FERTILIZER

Never look back at a mistake. Instead, focus on what that mistake teaches you, and move on. In this way, even the failures are actually helping you, As long as you learn from them, adapt as necessary and continue to move forward.

As mentioned previously, every person’s definition of success differs from that of everyone else. We all, however, share a common definition of failure and disappointment. Failure and disappointment are as much a part of life as are success and achievement. Yet most people never take the time to analyze their failures, and therefore miss all the lessons they could be gathering from those experiences.  

The common myth is to avoid failure at all costs. The only problem with that concept, however, is that everyone fails at almost everything while they are learning how to do it properly. Therefore, if avoiding failure was our main priority, we’d never attempt anything new. Instead of avoiding failure, we need to learn how to deal with failure so that we can learn from it and move on. Never let a temporary setback undermine your push for excellence. Live with the failures, learn from them and then keep on moving onwards and upwards.
 

11. A FIVE STAR RATING

Graciousness is the secret of becoming a five star person. Graciousness can be thought of as the personal attitudes and convictions that always remind a person where they come from and on whose shoulders they are standing to be where they are at present. It’s having the good sense to acknowledge life is always a team effort, and that we all ultimately owe whatever we achieve to the help other people provide us with. In daily terms, being gracious means being willing to help others achieve their goals, and become their best.
 

12. HOW DO YOU MEASURE SUCCESS?

It’s not what you get or what you own that makes you a success - it’s what you’re continuing to do with whatever you have. In other words, true happiness is generated by the richness of the journey, not by the reaching of any specific destination. Success can never be measured by comparing yourself to other people. Instead of comparing, try to do something worthwhile, because that’s where true success lies. Anyone who does their best, day in and day out, is a success.

Follow this link to view Denis Waitley's Personal Code of Self-Respect.
 

‘‘In the end, we are all the sum total of our actions. Character can’t be counterfeited, nor can it be put on and cast off as if it were a garment to meet the whim of the moment. Like the markings on wood which are ingrained in the very heart of the tree, character requires time and nurturing for growth and development. Thus also, day by day, we write our own destiny; for inexorably, we become what we do.’’

-Madame Chiang Kai-Shek

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